Let’s face it, no one really likes to network. Few people say, “I can’t wait to go to that networking event tonight.” But, as the pundit once asked a colleague, “Are you networking or not working?”
Yes, sorry to say, we must network, even though a NY Times survey found that the #1 social fear is going to a party with strangers and in another study 93% of respondents called themselves “shy.” If you must network, and it seems that you do, here are some tips to help you do it better.
1.PSYCHE YOURSELF UP.
You can do this. If you say you can’t, you won’t. It’s self-fulfilling. Talk yourself into a successful event. See yourself being charming and interested in others. Stand in front of your mirror and practice your smile.
2.SET SOME GOALS.
What’s the point otherwise? Set a goal of meeting four new people and asking for four LinkedIn connections. Or, set a goal of getting two informational interviews or coffee chats.
3.JUMP IN WITH BOTH FEET.
Approach anyone, smile, offer a firm handshake, and ask a question. Just about any question will do. Ask about the food. Ask about the host organization. Ask about the news.
4.BE INTERESTED, NOT INTERESTING.
Don’t go to an event to become the star of the evening. Be interested in other people. Get them talking; you won’t have to do the heavy lifting. Have a list of good questions up your sleeve to keep the conversation going. THINK “THEM.”
5.LOOK FOR WAYS TO HELP OTHERS.
Be a leader by being a servant. Watch for opportunities to do a kindness for others, like linking a person to someone you know who has similar interests.
6.LISTEN. REALLY LISTEN.
Not only will you be perceived as better company, but you will hear many opportunities, ones you wouldn’t hear if you were talking all the time.
7.BEGIN AND END WITH ENTHUSIASM.
The old Greek translation of enthusiasm is “en theos,” which means “with God (or energy or spirit).” Be the kind of person that others want to be around because you have this wonderful quality.
These seven tips should help you to GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY! Lose your ego. Think from the outside in, not the inside out. Find out what others want? What is important to them, not you? Show that you care about others, that you’re ready to help, and that you can be trusted.
That said, here are some NO-NOS: No religious talk. No politics. No cell phone surfing. No touching. No talking with mouth full. No bad breath or body odor. No inappropriate jokes. No overdoing the alcohol. No bashing of former employers or co-workers. I know, these sounds like commonsense, but some people forget to consider them. So, go forward into the network world and make meaningful connections.